At the end of it all, the famous silver ring can be acquired with a small amount of money and a very big promise: to avoid sex until marriage. Then, on that magical night, perhaps many years hence, it can be solemnly handed to a husband. On the ring there is engraved a reference to the quote from St Paul's Letter to the Thessalonians, which is the biblical foundation of the purity movement: "For this is the will of God, even your sanctification, that ye shall abstain from fornication: That every one of you shall know how to possess his vessel in sanctification and honour.
The startling news that there are British teenagers who have vowed to keep their vessels in sanctification and honour comes from an all-girl comprehensive school in west Sussex, which has had problems with its younger pupils and their purity rings. Bravely, the headteacher ruled that the rings fell within guidelines concerning religious uniform, and banned them.
The girls persisted. There have been detentions; the offending chastity campaigners have had to be taught separately from their school-mates. Inevitably, non-virgin parents have become involved and have complained to the press. A group of pure-minded year-olds have posed for photographs. Here is one of those small-but-significant stories, where different varieties of ignorance, hypocrisy and stupidity intersect. When the Reverend Denny Pattyn launched The Silver Ring Thing in Pittsburgh 11 years ago, he announced that it would offer teenagers "protection from the destructive effects of America's sex-obsessed culture".
It may be that this man of God is unusually innocent or stupid, but even so, someone, perhaps one of the teenagers he cares so much about, should surely have taken him aside to explain that a girl wearing a virginity ring on her finger will not think less about sex, but more; its presence sexualises her everyday life.
It has precisely the same effect on the opposite sex. Regrettable as it may seem to the Reverend Pattyn and the God-fearing parents of west Sussex, a girl's public announcement of her chastity will rarely, if ever, act as a deterrent to boys who may have designs on it. Thanks for your thoughts, Paul.
I think Jessica agrees with you. We are on the same page. It has to be her choice, just like your friend Hannah made her choice, just like I made my choice, even without a ring.
I have nothing against them. The title and spin of the article is that of promoting true purity. How do pledges and purity rings play into this? That is definitely an interesting thought. I think it is important to realize that Jesus is not condemning vows or oaths. In many cases, they are the same as promises and God makes plenty of those to us. What He is condemning, in the context of the culture, is the tendency to back out of a vow depending on what you swore.
He wants us to be people of our word. Are we heaping sin on ourselves by taking these vows? Well, I think that goes back to the point of WHO is taking the vow and what we understand the promise to be. No one should promise that they will never struggle. No one should promise that they will be pure in heart, mind, body, soul and spirit until the day they die.
We are ALL going to struggle. But, we can promise to try our best, knowing that we are fallen and will continue to fall. God simply wants us to be people of our word and to be careful about what we promise or swear to do. HI Jessica! You make some great points about the ceremony. And I totally agree with these 5 points. I hope there were people who came alongside you to affirm that you are not any less acceptable or loved by God. It would be good to have these ceremonies include something about how there is grace and forgiveness available if and when people stumble and fall in this.
We cannot separate this from the gospel. The five things you listed are spot on. They can also apply to marriage vows and even baptisms. You are so right!
Now that I am 22 I have decided on my own to participate in a purity ring vow with other young adults at my church in November. Thank God for grace! This post is written to parents. I actually spoke with my old youth pastor about this. He still pastors in the church where I grew up.
In a church where purity rings are still a big deal. He did an anonymous survey of his youth group. About the same percentage of his students had some type of purity ring: guys and girls both. So here we have a continuing generation of children whose parents have skirted their God-given responsibility to teach and train their children- to teach them how to walk uprightly, how to respect the other gender, how to embrace a lifestyle of purity. I am wearing a purity ring!
I have no problem with purity rings. I have a problem with them being used as an excuse for parents not to do their jobs or when they are used by Christian communities as a whole as a proof of virginity. My son is wanting to larticipate in a purity ceremony at his youth group. Hos father and i are happy about his decision to do this.
This article was very good for me to read and i will be sharing your wisdom in a card i give to him on ceremony night. Thank you for sharing. I thought it was going to be something bashing abstinence until I saw the website. Oh but I am so glad I did! I am a 29 year old virgin, but was looking for something to encourage my heart because I have the body part down and God MUST have led me to this!
Thank you so much for writing this! We all need this reminder — purity is about God doing something through us and not really what we can do or not do ourselves. Thank you! How about some data, rather than your opinion? Purity rings are another aspect of the works-based mindset that is so tempting to everyone, even Christians who believe they are grace based. These are essentially acts of virtue signaling designed to draw attention to the individual rather than to God.
Christian leaders use them as marketing gimmicks. Look at all the marketing associated with Fireproof, Courageous and War Room. Purity balls and purity rings are only good for selling more product. Mitch, I do not agree that the movies you mention are a marketing gimmick. I truly believe they can have a major impact on many non believers who are then inspired and drawn to God, and to live a Godly life. I need advise, me and my friends made a covnant of no sex before marriage we even have purity rings when we were 15years old now that we are growing we find oursalves facing the same challenges at the same time….
First of all, I am so sorry that you felt forced into a purity ring! You are right! An engaged couple is seen as more serious than a couple in a relationship, simply because of the presence of a sparkly ring. And now people are trying to add promise rings to the mix — yet another way to prove to everyone else that your relationship is legit through the medium of expensive jewellery. Instead you can discuss the idea of marriage somewhere down the line.
You can chat about commitment and where you see the relationship going. Why on earth would you want to put someone you love through that kind of letdown? Picture: Ella Byworth for Metro. A lack of a promise ring will be seen as a lack of longterm commitment. For others, marriage and engagement are wonderful, magical things. Surely both sides can agree that promise rings are ridiculous.
Sometimes your word is enough.
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